SEEKING COMPATIBILITY MAY BE THE WRONG WAY TO FIND MR. OR MS. RIGHT
The
authors of the new book “An Eight-Cow Woman
Deserves an Eight-Cow Man ” claim
that the current focus on compatibility over individual character will
do
little to assure a lasting marriage or relationship. In fact when
looking for
Mr. or Ms. Right one should look for sustainability over compatibility.
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Salt Lake City, UT - June 9, 2010 - According to the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology
in Springfield, Missouri, 50% of all first marriages end in divorce, with 67%
of second marriages, and 74% of third marriages ending similarly. According to
many experts some of the top reasons for divorce are infidelity, finances, poor
communication, abuse, addictions, and boredom. Local authors Ty B. Erickson,
M.D., Tracy Lyn Cutler, and Kurt Dowdle claim that these causes have less to do
with compatibility as they do with personal character.
Dr. Erickson states, “It usually takes only one or two major character flaws to
become the undoing of even the most seemingly well-suited couple. However, many
couples that divorce can still point to multiple levels of compatibility.
Conversely, it is not uncommon to see almost complete opposites stay happily
married for life who maintain high levels of personal integrity.”
“Our real point is that compatibility, though desirable, encompasses multiple
traits and behaviors that can be considered optional, depending on the person.
Certain character traits, however, should NOT be optional if the desired goal
is a life-long relationship,” says Ms. Cutler. “Two people who mutually agree
that honesty is not important to them will most likely not grow old as a couple
lying to each other.”
Dr. Erickson concludes, “People we talked to immediately recognize the accuracy
of our message. Even so, they often find it difficult to talk about such
matters with another person. Our book creates a strong metaphor that people can
relate to—comparing eight critical character traits to owning and caring for
cows. This “safe” language empowers men and women to talk openly about their
feelings on specific issues without feeling threatened. It seems to be easy to
discuss and be light-hearted about cows.”
The book “An Eight-Cow Woman Deserves an Eight-Cow Man,” a metaphorical play on
the Patricia McGerr short story of a Polynesian man who offers an unheard-of
eight-cows for his wife, is the culmination of two years of extensive research
and study. The authors are currently holding seminars and open book signings
throughout Utah.